Here are the top five most read stories on the Bloomberg in the last day with selected excerpts (and my comments, if any, in italics).

As of 13-Sep-2007 at 9:49:57 (Beijing time):

1. A Wall Street Trader Learns Some Taxing Lessons

“Great men require great diversion from their great troubles. Even the giant oil painting of himself was totally necessary: Steve [Schwarzman] — like a lot of us under 5 feet, 7 inches — tends to lose himself in his work. He needs to be reminded that he actually exists. For one night the guy tries to stand tall, and Congress responds with a new tax on platform shoes.”

…

“Rich people know how to invest extra money. Poor people just squander it on necessities. That’s why capitalism works so well: it keeps money out of the hands of people who don’t know how to use it and directs it to people who know how to make it grow.”

Michael Lewis continues with his satire; love the Napoleonic Complex jab.

2. Citigroup’s Old Lane Hedge Fund Lost 5.9% in August

Some dummy was quoted: “They’ve got some time to have some positive months that would more than offset the losses and put them back into contention for being a superb manager.” One bad month and you’re “out of contention,” lol. Talk about a rat race.

3. Patriots’ Belichick Apologizes for Jets Coach Taping

“NFL security removed a Patriots employee suspected of attempting to steal the Jets’ signals and seized his video camera and tape … The Patriots have won almost 70 percent of their games since Belichick became coach in January 2000.”

Doesn’t everybody steal everybody else’s signals?

4. London Seeks More Bankers Amid Credit-Market Turmoil
5. GMAC Bonds Rally on Citigroup’s $21 Billion Financing

“The new credit line, which Citigroup may syndicate out to other lenders, has a one-year term. The credit line replaces a $10 billion three-year facility set in August last year. The company may pay 1.5 to 2 percentage points more than the London interbank offered rate; Libor is currently 5.7 percent. GMAC isn’t disclosing the interest rate on the new agreement.”

Woe to those who funded (past tense) themselves by selling commercial paper backed by mortgage assets — you can only tap your credit lines for so long before they tap out. (Pray for the market to “normalize.”)