124 minutes but it felt like much longer, even at 16x fast forward. It's about an ageing movie star, Juliette Binoche, and her still excellent cleavage, and Kristen Stewart, her personal assistant / chief phone answerer, once again biting her lip, sucking her teeth, or doing something else weird with her mouth in every scene. I went to fast forward after 20 minutes and had to speed it all the way up to 16x, where it still looked like an awful movie. Talk, talk, talk. Endless talk.

Stewart looked good in those nerd glasses (see below). They go for a swim in a lake in the Alps and we get to see the Ancient Binoche Bush but Stewart even keeps her bra on! Binoche gets a really bad, dyke-y haircut towards the end of the movie, washed-up star bad about getting old, ya know. God, this looked terrible. Red rating, avoid.

Kristen Potter and the Cursed Ageing Actress